Breaking Free from the Drama Triangle: A New Lens on Conflict at Work

May 6

In leadership and life, few patterns of behaviour are as subtly damaging and as widespread as those found in the Drama Triangle. Developed by psychologist Stephen Karpman in the 1960s, this simple but powerful model helps us understand how conflict plays out when we slip unconsciously into one of three roles: Victim, Persecutor, or Rescuer.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in recurring workplace tensions, exhausted by solving everyone’s problems, or stung by a colleague’s criticism there’s a good chance the Drama Triangle is quietly at work.

The Three Roles That Fuel Dysfunction

Let’s break them down:

Victim Feels helpless, hard done by, and powerless to make change. Seeks sympathy, but stays stuck.
Persecutor Blames and criticises. May be overtly hostile or subtly controlling. They create fear, not solutions.
Rescuer Rushes in to help, often unasked. They mean well, but by ‘saving’ others, they reinforce helplessness.

Each role depends on the others to survive so the triangle spins on. And often, people flip roles without realising it. The Rescuer burns out and becomes the Victim. The Victim lashes out and becomes the Persecutor.

What It Looks Like at Work

Consider Jane, a programme director in a nonprofit. A classic Rescuer, she poured herself into helping underprivileged youth but soon they stopped trying to solve their own problems. Jane became overwhelmed, resentful, and ineffective. Sound familiar? Or take Mark, a manager whose default mode was Persecutor. In team meetings, he criticised errors but offered little guidance. Morale nosedived. Staff began to feel victimised. Turnover spiked. No one thrived.

This isn’t just theory. One study suggests 70% of workplace conflicts stem from Drama Triangle dynamics. It’s not always the big issues it’s the daily patterns of interaction that quietly corrode trust and motivation.

🛠 Strategies to Break the Cycle

The good news? You can rewrite the script. Here's how:

1. Start with Awareness: You can’t shift what you don’t see. The first step is recognising when you’re in a role and naming it. Mindfulness tools like journaling or team check-ins can help build this awareness. 80% of people surveyed by the APA admitted to falling into one of these roles at some point.

2. Empower the 'Victim': Swap “I can’t” for “What’s one thing I can do?” Encourage agency, not helplessness. The Empowerment Model is one tool that reframes choices and builds ownership. Therapeutic approaches that focus on empowerment have reduced Victim tendencies in 60% of participants.

3. Challenge the 'Persecutor' with Emotional Intelligence: Feedback doesn’t have to hurt. Training in constructive communication, empathy, and active listening can reduce conflict by up to 50%. Leaders who practise emotionally intelligent communication see stronger team cohesion and less friction.

4. Help the 'Rescuer' Set Boundaries: Helping isn’t the same as saving. Healthy support means knowing when to step back. Rescuers who learn to say no experience higher self-esteem and less burnout. Boundary-setting leads to clearer roles, better teamwork, and greater wellbeing.

The Organisational Pay-Off

When teams step off the Drama Triangle, the results are transformational: