Why We Need to Nurture Our Introvert Side

In leadership, presence matters more than volume.

Lately I’ve been thinking about how much leadership energy gets poured into being louder, faster, more visible. But what about the strength that sits quietly in the background?

We live in a culture that rewards the fast, the vocal, the ever-on. Meetings are dominated by those who speak first. Decisions are made at pace. We praise those who have presence but often confuse presence with performance. Yet some of the strongest leaders I’ve worked with aren’t the loudest in the room. They’re grounded. Thoughtful. Discerning. They listen longer than others. They speak with care. They choose when not to speak and in doing so, create space for others.

Whether you’re introverted, extroverted, or somewhere in between, we all have an introvert side. The part that values stillness, depth, and thinking time. And in fast-moving organisations, this side is often neglected, sometimes even in ourselves.

A recent coaching conversation brought this to life...I was working with a sharp, capable professional,  someone technically brilliant and well respected by their team. But they came to the session feeling blocked. “I’m doing everything right, but I still can’t seem to influence up. I’ve got ideas. I speak up. But I don’t seem to carry weight in the room.”

So we slowed things down. We explored how they were showing up in those meetings. Who they were trying to influence. What the dynamics were like.
Whether their tone or energy shifted under pressure. All the usual exploratory coaching questions. And then I asked: “What might change if you brought more curiosity than certainty and let go of the need to persuade?”

Silence.
Then a smile.
That smile, the one that has just revealed a truth.

He realised he’d been showing up trying to prove his value, coming in with polished points and strong logic, when what was really needed was more space, more dialogue, and more active listening. He wasn’t being dismissed because of lack of insight, he was being met with resistance because he wasn't leaving room for curiosity, a willingness to let go of control, and the space to truly listen and learn.

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” Dalai Lama

Here’s what happens when we nurture our introvert side:

1. We think more clearly. Depth needs space. Clarity often comes in the pause.

2. We listen more fully. Not to fix, or win, or interrupt, but to understand.

3. We become a calming presence. Stillness is magnetic in times of stress.

4. We make space for others. Especially those whose voices don’t push to the front.

5. We protect our own energy. Quiet isn’t a retreat, it’s a resource.

These aren’t soft skills. They’re leadership disciplines.

They require practice. Restraint. Maturity. And in a world obsessed with speed and certainty, they offer something more valuable: presence, perspective, and humanity.

Quiet doesn’t mean small.
Stillness doesn’t mean passive.
And not performing doesn’t mean you’re not leading.

So if you’ve been moving at full tilt, maybe the most radical thing you can do this week is pause.

Make space to notice what you’re missing in the noise.
Return to that quiet part of you that sees more than it says.

I'd love to hear how you create space for quiet strengths in your leadership practice. Feel free to share your reflections here…I’m all ears!

 

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