Breaking free from the ropes that hold you back

You’ve probably heard the story—the one where enormous elephants are tethered by nothing more than a flimsy rope. These powerful creatures, capable of breaking free in an instant, don’t even try.

Why? Because when they were young, that same rope could hold them. Over time, they learned not to fight it. The belief stuck, even when it no longer matched reality.

It’s a well-worn tale, but it keeps coming up for a reason. Because we all have our own ‘rope moments’.

In work and life, how often do we hold back, assume we can’t, or avoid trying something—not because it’s truly impossible, but because somewhere along the line, we decided it was?

Maybe it’s the belief that you’re “not a people person” so you shy away from leadership opportunities.

Maybe it’s “I’m terrible at sales”, so you avoid those crucial business conversations.

Or “I can’t challenge that decision” because it’s not your place.

These ropes are often tied when we’re early in our careers or during past experiences where something didn’t go to plan. Over time, they tighten—not physically, but mentally. And without realising it, they start to limit how we show up.

Limiting Beliefs Aren’t Always Yours to Carry

It’s not just our own experiences that tie these ropes. Well-meaning colleagues, family and friends often project their own limitations onto us.

“You’re not cut out for that role.”

“Be careful, you don’t want to take on too much.”

“You’re not in sales—you’re better behind the scenes.”

These comments can easily slip into our subconscious. They come from a place of care (most of the time), but they can be dream-stealers if we’re not careful. The key is to recognise the difference between genuine advice and someone else’s limiting beliefs that can sneak into your story.

I was delivering a leadership programme recently and during a break, one of the participants came up to me with a moment of realisation. He told me, “I’ve just had a breakthrough. I’ve always considered myself an introvert and believed that you could only go into a leadership role if you had an extroverted personality and a strong D style.”

He had carried that belief with him for years, assuming leadership was reserved for the loudest, boldest voices in the room. But in that session, we had been exploring Everything DiSC and he started to see things differently. He realised that leadership isn’t about fitting a single mould. It’s about understanding your own style, flexing where needed, and bringing your strengths to the table.

For him, that rope—the belief that “I’m not leadership material because I’m not extroverted”—had been tied years ago. But in that moment, he tested it. He saw it for what it was: an old, outdated assumption that didn’t reflect reality.

The rope was never going to hold.

Breaking Free Starts with a Question

If you feel stuck or frustrated, ask yourself:

What belief am I holding onto here?

Whose voice is influencing that belief—mine or someone else’s?

When was the last time I tested whether it’s still true?

Beliefs lose their power the moment you start to challenge them. It doesn’t have to be a dramatic act. Sometimes it’s as simple as trying a small, new action that proves to yourself, I can do this.

Unlike the elephants, we don’t need brute strength to break free from our ropes. What we need is awareness, curiosity, and the courage to step beyond the stories we’ve been telling ourselves.

Test the rope. Challenge the assumption. You might be surprised at how little is actually holding you back.