A Mindset Shift for Overloaded Leaders

Let’s be honest, how often do you look at your to-do list and feel that mix of overwhelm, resentment and low-grade panic?

I came across a line recently that stopped me in my tracks: “Acceptance of an overfull to-do list is the first step in handling it.”

It was a quiet but powerful reminder. Railing against a long list won’t shorten it. It only adds another layer of frustration, guilt, and sometimes, blame (usually aimed at yourself or the nearest source of why is this even my job?).

So, what if, instead of fighting the list, we paused?

What if we relaxed into being okay with the fact that yes, we have a lot on, and probably always will? That’s the nature of leadership and modern work. But it doesn’t have to leave us feeling powerless.

This isn’t about surrendering your boundaries or becoming a ‘yes’ person. It’s about changing the frame. Because here’s the truth: This isn’t a time management issue. It never really was. What we’re really dealing with is achievement management. Time management asks, How do I fit it all in? Achievement management asks, What matters most to move forward?

The perception trap

Recently, I was working with a client, someone genuinely committed, talented, and ridiculously likeable—who asked for feedback on how he was showing up at work. He cares deeply about doing a good job and being there for others.

He received some honest, direct input, the kind others hadn’t felt brave enough to give. One comment hit particularly hard: “If you keep taking on everything and don’t follow through, it could come across as flaky.” Now, I didn’t say he was flaky. Far from it. But I let the comment land. It was a moment to pause and reflect, not on his intent, but on the impression being created.

This is someone who often described himself as thriving in chaos. He joked about it, even wore it lightly at times. But over time, that picture of ‘loving the chaos’ was starting to signal something else to those around him: disorganisation, overwhelm, a pattern of over-promising and under-delivering, not because he didn’t care, but because he cared too much to say ‘no’.

He sat back, quiet for a moment, and then admitted: “I find it really hard to say no.”

And there it was, the heart of the issue. Not his calendar. Not his capability. His inability to say ‘no’ was fuelling a growing to-do list and quietly undermining the very trust he wanted to build.

Everyone’s busy, but to what end?

And he’s not alone. Every time I ask a client, “How are things?” I hear the same word: “Busy.” Everyone is busy. Gloriously, relentlessly, overwhelmingly busy. But busyness isn’t always a badge of honour. Sometimes it’s a sign of blurred priorities, unsustainable expectations, or the quiet fear that saying no might disappoint someone. So, what do we do when we find ourselves in the same spot?

Here are three small but powerful actions to shift from doing it all to doing what matters:

1. Circle what matters most. Pick one thing today that truly moves the dial, something aligned with your goals, your values, or your team’s priorities. Ask yourself: If I only did this today, would it move me forward? Start there.

2. Say no with clarity, even to your boss. This is where most of us stumble. Saying ‘no’ upwards can feel risky. But it’s not about being difficult, it’s about being realistic. And most good leaders respect someone who’s honest about capacity and focused on quality.

Try something like: “I want to give this the attention it deserves. Right now, I’m at capacity with X and Y, would you prefer I reprioritise something else or delay this?” You’re not refusing, you’re opening a conversation about what matters most. It shows thoughtfulness, not resistance.

3. Audit the noise. Look at your list again tomorrow with fresh eyes. What’s on there because of habit, assumption, or fear of letting someone down? Those are your low-return tasks, good candidates for delegation, deferral, or deletion.

The goal isn’t a perfectly managed day. It’s a purposeful one.

Leadership isn’t about doing everything. It’s about doing what matters, on purpose, and without apology.